Animal Dad Jokes
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools
Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Why did the Energizer Bunny go to jail?
He was charged with battery
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon?
Now it's a sour puss
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
What do French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day?
Their chateau
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
Bison!
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
Why did the spider go to school?
He wanted to be a web designer.
What do you get when you cross an ornery sheep with a crabby cow?
A real baa-d moo-
How do fish pay for groceries?
With sand dollars
What did the fish say after swimming into a cement wall?
Dam
Did you hear about the girl who ate a frog?
They say she's going to croak
What did the duck say to the waiter when he brought the check?
Just put it on my bill
What do you call someone who raises hens?
A chicken tender
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaraus
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!
What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.