Animal Dad Jokes
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
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What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador
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Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed!
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Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools
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Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
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​How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
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Why did the Energizer Bunny go to jail?
He was charged with battery
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Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon?
Now it's a sour puss
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What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
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What do French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day?
Their chateau
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
​Bison!
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What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
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Why did the spider go to school?
He wanted to be a web designer.
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What do you get when you cross an ornery sheep with a crabby cow?
A real baa-d moo-
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How do fish pay for groceries?
With sand dollars
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What did the fish say after swimming into a cement wall?
Dam
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Did you hear about the girl who ate a frog?
They say she's going to croak
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What did the duck say to the waiter when he brought the check?
Just put it on my bill
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​What do you call someone who raises hens?
A chicken tender
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​What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaraus
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What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!​
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What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple​
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
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